Shit... it piles up...

Today was a roller coaster for sure. One built in hell, powered by brimstone, and run by Satan himself...

Don't believe me, let's look at the ride.

I woke up this morning and it started just fine. My car started with the remote car starter -thank you sweet boyfriend for that best Christmas gift- and I got ready while it warmed up. Now the car only runs for so long with a car starter so I didn't expect it to be running when I walked out the door to leave. I did expect it to start when I turned the key... so started the roller coaster ride. I needed to leave, then. I didn't have time for my car to act up, again.

So I run back into the house and thankfully my dad was up (I stay with my parents for my current clinical site, it's closer). I quickly tell him what happened and he's dressed. He gives me the keys to my mom's car -yes, my parents are wonderful- and even comes out to help me clean the snow off it. But, as I said, I have to leave right then... well, at this point, ten minutes ago.

Now the drive... *sigh* My mom's car is much bigger than mine. To me, it's like driving a boat through a store aisle. It also means it takes forever to warm up. So there I am steering the boat while I shiver trying to race to my site and what happens.... I get stuck behind a plow going 20 mph clearing the side of the road and laying salt. Now.... answer this, if plows drive down the highway at 60mph, why the hell was this plow going 20? Pass him you say. You apparently haven't caught the trend of this post. If I was in a passing zone, there was traffic. When I wasn't, there were no other cars. I wasn't going to risk passing in a no passing zone and losing more time for the ticket (not to mention the money). So I hang in there until his turn signal goes on and he starts to turn right. Just my luck, the fucker turns onto that road, goes straight across it, and tries to pull back out into traffic. I swerved and narrowly missed him.

Now that I'm more awake than my two cups of coffee could ever dream of accomplishing... woo adrenaline... I safely make it to my site with 10 minutes to spare. The morning goes okay from there... then, drama. For the sake of others' privacy, I won't share the details. Let's just say it put me in a rough spot, not because of anything I did but because of what I was affiliated with. Lovely huh? It was off and on all day, especially spending it thinking I'd be trapped at my parents' for the weekend and not see my wonderful boyfriend.

Resigned, I left clinic happy with my small successes. I went home to the parents, sat down, and started reading thinking that would kill my time. Did I mention when I got home, my car was gone. Oh yes, my little metallic blue baby wasn't where I left it. My dad had driven it over to my brother's to borrow his garage. For those of you who don't know. My brother lives behind my parents, so it was a short drive. Somehow, the blue beast decided to start for my dad. Now, little back story. My car had done this same trick a few days before and my dad had swapped out the battery for me while I'd used mom's car. So we knew it wasn't the battery.

However, the fact that my car was tucked away in my dad's new "car shop" was bad news and I knew it. If it'd been a quick fix, he wouldn't have bothered. Hence my idea to read and try to forget about it. At least until my mom asked me why I wasn't packing up and leaving yet. I told her I didn't have a car and she told me I could use hers for the weekend. Great, more boat riding, but I was happy for the offer. I called my dad to see how things were progressing. I got a short update since my dad was "in the middle of a big cuss". Basically, my car needed some work before the refusal to start and my dad had decided to take the opportunity to do it all. Fine by me. So I thank him, load up, and head to the boyfriend's.

There I was, steering my loaner boat down the roads, happy to be going back to my boy toy extraordinaire. I even stopped to buy some new books and something to make for dinner. I didn't even mind the stop and go traffic and swarms of idiots so much. Singing away, I turn onto the main street that leads to his road and I realize I don't have my house key. Where is it? It's hanging on my key chain... with my dad.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... Now, at this point I really have to pee and the urge for other bathroom needs is rearing its ugly head. But I don't want to stop. I want to get my keys and get inside. So, I turn around and speed BACK to my parents. Probably wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't a 30-45 minute drive. And, after the morning's close call with the plow, I'm worried about idiots wrecking my mom's car.

So there I am, carefully steering the boat, avoiding idiots, and watching for cops since I'm now hauling ass (pardon the pun) to get my house key and a pit stop. Getting pulled over didn't happen but it would have been interesting. After all, I don't know where my dad keeps the car registration and it's definitely not going to have my name on it. "Sorry officer, I'm borrowing my parents' car and I didn't mean to speed, but I really have to poop. I promise I'm not stealing the car..." Yeah, how many times do they hear that? I'd have been shitting in a jail cell. And, yes, I did mean to type shitting.

Finally, I make it to my brother's house. The garage door isn't open (a quick call to my dad revealed my keys were in the car's ignition at my brother's house). My brother and sister-in-law tell me hi as I come in. I really was hoping to grab the key and skedaddle. Going inside meant getting trapped in conversation with them and my nephew. I love them all but I had to poop and wanted to get home. Stuff needed to be done and I was starving. But, I saw an opportunity. "Hey sis, just need my house key...and to use your bathroom... where's the toilet paper?"  But it worked and one need was taken care of.

Figuring I could still make up time on the drive back, I hurried down to their garage to get my key. Yeah, my dad forgot to mention that my car was stuck in neutral and the keys were stuck in the ignition. There's me squeezed into a strange position in a tight space, trying to slide a key off a ring... difficult without the extra factors.

Finally, success in hand, I said my goodbyes and took off for home. I finally made it home and got my laundry into the washer. I even made my dinner. The trip from my folks to my boyfriends, total round trip.... just shy of 3 hours (if we include my little stop for books and food). Best part to top off my shitty sundae, I had just filled my mom's huge gas tank. If you didn't know, it's pretty expensive to fill a cargo ship with fuel and I had just wasted a good portion of it.

So, here I sit writing this blog trying to find the good in the situation. I guess I'll say it was a lovely drive and leave it at that?

Then again, I did get to stink up their bathroom... payback for them plugging my apartment toilet years ago I guess.

Flushing the silver lining,
Jennifer