Okay, nothing to do with writing at all. Right now, I want to take a moment to discuss something in regards to women everywhere. I do realize the majority of us know how our bodies work, etc. I want to stop and talk to those who don't.
Ready?
First up, yeast infections. If you've never had one before, you're doctor is going to want a culture- don't call them at 10 o'clock at night. If you've had one before, you know the signs symptoms. Here's the deal. Is there a prescription for it- yes. Is it usually just one dose- yes. If you can reach your doctor when the office is open, feel free to ask for the prescription. When the office is closed, just be a grown up lady, go into the store and buy some damn Monistat or similar. Suck it up. The doctors hate being called at 10pm because you have an itchy vag and are too lazy or cheap to take care of it.
From my side, I have tried the prescription pill once. My doctor gave it to me along with the antibiotics because we all know those two go together. (or maybe you didn't and NOW you know) The pill made me sick to my stomach like I had the worst case of food poisoning ever and it didn't relieve any of those irritating symptoms. For my money, I get the Monistat suppository. Easy, peasy, and I feel better right away. If you don't like the price of the Monistat, most stores have their store brand similar products for cheaper. There ya go.
Second, childbirth. If you have no idea how the female body works and what pregnancy entails, please educate yourself BEFORE your water breaks. Hell, before you even try to get pregnant. And, yes, women had babies long before medical practice was even invented. And, yes, labor hurts... duh. You're body will be trying to squeeze a 6-13lb baby out of it... think that's going to feel like a walk in the park?! And if you're close to your due date and you think you're in labor- do NOT call your doctor grunting into the phone to tell them you're having contractions every five minutes and what do you do?? You're pregnant, near full term, eventually you are going to have a baby. They go hand in hand... The doctors are busy people and may be trapped in a surgery or delivery for hours. By the time they call, you're going to be holding a baby.
Have a cold? There are aisles and aisles of medications to choose from to help your symptoms and a thing called a pharmacist to answer questions usually located near them. Oh, and antibiotics do not cure viruses like the flu. You have to suffer, that's why they suck so much. Most narcotic pain killers can not be called in to your pharmacy. Any controlled substance drug has to be on a paper script that you pick up and then take to the pharmacy, that's federal regulation. So stop calling about your Vicodin already. Birth control also not considered an emergency. You miss a dose or two, read the paper pamphlet in your pills, it actually tells you what to do- imagine that. Another interesting tidbit, you can get a refill one week in advance of your prescription running out- call early and call during business hours.
Doctors also will usually not have test results, your file, or paperwork on hand after hours. They don't sit at the office all night waiting for you. They are running around trying to get the things in their own lives handled. They're seeing patients at hospitals, eating dinner, at a kid's birthday party... being normal people and taking time away from that to talk to you.
This one goes for everyone, if you think you're having a bad reaction to a medication. Take yourself and the medication to your nearest ER. If you can't breath or your chest hurts or you're bleeding like crazy, ER... If you think you could possibly die in the next hour, ER. That's why it's called an EMERGENCY ROOM. And if you really think it's bad, so bad you call in crying to the doctor's paging service that you have to talk to him/her NOOOOW... you should probably hang up and dial 9-1-1. Got it?
It's called common sense and people seem to be in serious lack of it. I answer for some really nice doctors, the kind that would go out of their way to help their patients and other doctor's patients and I feel really awful when I have to call them late because some person is a moron....
Oh and another helpful tip. If you get to the ER, the doctor can NOT speed your way through. You are assigned a place based on your triage information and what other people may be suffering from. If you have a runny nose, you are not going to get ahead of the person bleeding to death no matter who calls. Personal experience, I had a doctor take me to the ER and put in an order for a CT scan with STAT results. The doctor is on the board of that hospital... I still waited FOUR HOURS...
And if you don't like how your doctor runs things or how their office runs things, do not complain or curse at their after hours service. We don't have anything to do with it. We follow the rules those doctors give us and there is probably a reason for it. If you really don't like it, it's called change doctors. Oh and that's not a threat that will get us to break a doctor's protocol for you. Personally, I take their calls, I send them out. I could care less if you switch doctors or burn their office down. But, if you do make a threat towards the office, the doctor, or their staff... we will be letting them know... The squad car outside your house, it's for you. And the letter removing you from their practice, it's for you. You're welcome.
They are doctors, not miracle workers or one stop 24 hour prescription dealers... Respect your doctor and then maybe the jerk doctors wouldn't have to be jerks. I could go on and on with all the examples of misuse happening, but I'll step away from the soapbox now. We don't mind putting you in touch with your doctor if you have an actual problem, but please stop abusing the service. So many doctors don't offer after hours services because of this same type of misuse. Oh and once you've said you're looking for something that's not an emergency (per the doctor's protocol), we're not going to page the doctor and pretend you didn't say it.
That is all... thank you for letting me vent and I hope maybe someone, somewhere learned something...
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